It’s officially here. No matter how much I tried to put it off. My 30th. A birthday I have thought about with slight dread since I turned 21, I think. Ok, probably way before that, when I thought someone 30 was really really old. What is it about these big decade birthdays that get so deep into your psyche?
Am I sad? Not really. I’ve always said {and tried to believe} that age is just a number and almost nothing more. Need to embrace age and wiseness….
Do I feel old? No way. Despite having two kids, a great husband, and a business that I started from near scratch , I still feel mostly like a little girl playing house. I wonder when that will change? Maybe when I become a grandmother? Or turn 40.
Besides. My twenties rocked.
I went to college. I ate lots of pizza. Drank too much beer. I met some of my best friends in the world. I learned how to shovel snow off of a car. And use 4-wheel drive. I learned a lot of other things, some the hard way. I traveled around Italy and Europe. With one of my best friends. I went to camp. For the last time. As a counselor. I committed to date my now husband. He officially became a boyfriend. We made a long distance relationship work. Despite complaining about it. A lot. I went to law school. Despite knowing I would be a terrible lawyer. I moved in with now-husband. Which was a big change. I ruined numerous clothing items in attempts to do the laundry. I quit doing laundry. I lost my grandmother. Which was hard. I traveled. With now-husband. With family. With friends. To amazing places. We got engaged. We planned a wedding. We bought a townhouse. We said goodbye to lots of friends. To move to the warmth. Near my family. We got a dog. We fell in love. With the dog. I tried being a lawyer. I felt like a ”real” person in the “real world.” I left the law. I started my own business. I made it work. From scratch. I started this blog. We traveled more. We ate delicious foods. We embraced having time with just the two of us. I got pregnant. With twins. I survived {almost} nine months of pregnancy. I gave birth. We bought another house. We moved. With twins. We bought a mommy-mobile. I realized things that are really important. I tried not to dwell on things that aren’t as important. I tried not to sweat the small stuff {as much as possible}. I realized I am now definitely a “real” person in the “real world.” I realized how hard it is to “have it all.” I learned a lot about juggling and multitasking. I found my first gray hair. I cried. I laughed. I danced. I embraced this new life. As an older person. As a mom. As a wife. As a daughter. As a sister. As a cousin/niece/family-member. As a friend.
I think the hardest thing about turning 30 is realizing that 20 was 10 years ago. {That’s right mom and dad, I can do math}. I was actually escorted kicked out of a bar on my 20th birthday. Duh, because I was 20. And they figured it out. And they weren’t thrilled. Was that really 10 years ago? Am I going to turn into one of those people who keeps retelling the same stories of youth over and over until I sound like a broken record? Let’s hope not.
The bottom line is this. My twenties were pretty freaking amazing. And I know I am totally, unbelievably, undeniably blessed. In so many ways. And I can’t wait to see what the next decades have in store. Because it’s been a wild ride.
Thanks for listening and for supporting me. You guys rock.
xoxo,
Niki
This was a great post, I really enjoyed it. I’m approaching my 3-0 as well, so I totally get where you’re coming from. Happy Birthday
loved the pposted!!!!!! Happy Birthday!
CONGRATS ON THIS MOST SPECIAL DAY, YOUR POST IS OUTSTANDING, VERY MOVING…..XOXO COUSIN JANET
Happy Birthday! This post was absolutely beautifully written!
In the boot-shaped peninsula they say that age gets carried equally by both of your shoulders….you now have 15 years settled comfortably on each side! HAHA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY a bit belated! P